On Sabbath, June 28, the Women's Ministries of the Rome Lungotevere Adventist Church organized a meeting to shed light on a sensitive and painful topic: "Crime and Modern Dynamics. A Confrontation Between Justice, Psychology, and Faith to Break the Cycle of Violence." The afternoon event featured Dr. Micaela Piredda, a magistrate, and Dr. Simona Abate, head psychologist at Sant'Andrea Hospital and honorary judge of the Rome Surveillance Court.
In their discourse, they urged everyone to be attentive, starting within the context of the family. Psychological violence has many dark facets: blackmail, instrumentalization and manipulation even of minors, morbid jealousy, stalking, embezzlement of economic resources, forms of emotional dependence, and control. Magistrate Piredda dwelt on a crucial fact: "Behavior that veers from the physiological into the pathological does not occur in the light of day and can involve women as well as men, hetero and homosexual partners. This is why we speak of crimes against the person. Two aspects are crucial: emergence, that is, the awareness of the sufferer, and the courage to report. And then process needs to be upheld," she said. “In fact, the cycle of violence,” Piredda added, "is defined as a cycle because it often stops for a while and resumes again, apparent reconciliations occur, renewed confrontations, again a truce, and the remission of the lawsuit. The timing of intervention makes a difference."
The meeting offered a very thorough overview of dysfunctional signs in relationships, and the alarm bells to watch for attentively. Emotional denigration, constant disqualification, emotional addictions, and hypercontrol by narcissists feed their pathological egos by undermining the other.
“We are not educated in emotionality, we lack an emotional alphabet,” stressed psychologist Abate. "In schools as in the home, there is a shortage of tools to recognize and express emotions, anger, or boredom. Children do not receive the ‘no's’ that make them grow, demarcating their own and others' sphere of freedom. The ‘no’ system teaches them to tolerate frustration, to understand that the other person is not an extension of me, that I cannot cross certain boundaries. Often, even from an early age, we inherit trauma and relational patterns that we consider normal and, in fact, are not."
The psychologist also cited the impact of new technologies, bullying and cyberbullying, the difficulty of measuring up to unattainable social role models, and the responsibility of the network around kids. Not only do parents, grandparents, uncles, teachers, and mentors have a valuable educational role. A network that needs everyone's cooperation to be effective. Everyone with his or her own expertise and responsibility is a vital piece, from the judiciary to health professionals, from law enforcement to schools, to society as a whole.
Recent legislation in Italy, by introducing the “code red,” has made it possible to take protection measures more quickly, but much remains to be done: from the collapse of prison systems to the shortage of shelter beds to keep victims safe, more is needed. Of note is the “code pink” program active in hospitals such as Rome's Sant'Andrea, a preferential way of receiving victims as early as in the emergency room with a sheltered room and assistance, referral doctor, psychologist, social worker, and contact with law enforcement.
We are all called to do our part, cultivating the values of life, respect, and the real kind of love, which has nothing to do with possession. There is a kind of “thermometer” that should not be overlooked. In romantic or friendship relationships, the first question to ask is, "Do I feel good? Does the person next to me really want my well-being? Are we helping each other to grow, to evolve, to walk together?" If not, let's reflect and stay away. “As a church, we are in an important place,” concluded psychologist Abate, “as a suitable space where we can foster a unification of our languages from psychology, to spirituality, to justice.”
The Women's Ministries team thanked the two guests with an orchid and a box set of books by Ellen G. White, co-founder of the Adventist church. Refreshments closed the afternoon and welcomed the participants.
Reported by Veronica Addazio, associate director of communications for the church in Rome Lungotevere