A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 15:1 NIV
One evening I read a Persian proverb that really struck me. It said, "Kind manners and soft words have the power to drag an elephant by a hair." Immediately there formed in my mind the funny and rationally impossible image of a large elephant being moved not by a mechanical crane, as its size would require, but ... by a hair, one of those sparse hairs that cover the pachyderm's skin.
The next morning, this maxim rattled in my head. At breakfast, my children began to fight and, shouting, spilled milk and cereal on the table and the floor. It was late and I was already nervous, but ... "Kind manners and soft words have the power to drag an elephant by a hair," I repeated to myself, and calmly soothed the spirits and the boys helped me clean up.
Rushing to the station, I missed the train to work. The next one was fifteen minutes later! I sat down on a bench. After a few seconds, two ladies arrived and started smoking. I was annoyed. I had missed the train and would be late for work, plus those two were smoking in my face. I began to cough.
"Does smoking bother you?" one of the two women asked me. I could have given a wrong answer, but ... "Kind manners and soft words have the power to drag an elephant by a hair." Then I replied, "Actually yes, I don't smoke and you are very kind to ask me."
"You're welcome! We'll go and smoke further away," they said, smiling. In the office, various mishaps happened that made me remember my sentence several times.
The day had not exactly started well, and it could have gotten worse. That day I think the Lord used the image used in the Persian proverb to make me realize how important it is to exercise self-control, to be polite and courteous even when it seems we are being wronged. This is something I already knew because the Bible teaches it. But it is entirely different when what we know in theory becomes a concrete reality in daily life. The Lord radically changes us when we rely on him.
Proverbs 15:23 NIV reminds us: “ A person finds joy in giving an apt reply – and how good is a timely word!”
In kindness, we express respect for others and also for ourselves. In this way, God's character is manifested in us.
Being kind that day made me feel good. In short, it had been like ... I had dragged an elephant by a hair.
Lina Ferrara, Women’s Ministries Director, Italian Union of SDA