With this theme in mind, the Advisory Board on Countering Sexual Violence invited women who have suffered sexual abuse in their lives to a weekend this year. The number of registrations we received for this event by far surpassed anything we have seen before. The fact that there is such a high demand for such an event in our church is as shameful as it is sobering. And it is particularly shameful when the participants make a desperate request to take up this topic in another event as soon as possible, but then with the focus on the aspect of “... and so is my faith, by the way”.
It is shameful but also irresponsible to deny a divine blessing to people who have been subjected to sexual violence. This is not only indecent but also a deliberate and unfortunately successful attempt to deny people divine protection, without which it is much more difficult for the emotional wounds to heal that sexual violence always causes. One participant insisted on taking up the topic of “... and so is my faith, by the way” at the next possible occasion and explained that she had been denied God's blessing by some of the members of her congregation. To my surprised reply that I could not make the connection, I received the following analogous answer: “Because I was sexually abused as a child against my will because violence was done to me, I am seen as defiled, in a state in which divine blessing cannot be bestowed upon me.” Oliver Gall, Director of the Advisory Board on Countering Sexual Violence,
Enditnow! This Silent Weekend has encouraged me to take a stronger stand against this violence in our church. “As a global church, we are working with the Enditnow initiative to raise awareness of and end violence against women, children and indeed anyyone. Every year, a Sabbath is set aside worldwide to raise awareness and stand up together against it. The Women's Ministries Department is particularly committed to this. This is more necessary than ever, because people, especially women, experience (sexual) violence in our church. The team of the Advisory Board on Countering Sexual Violence organizes “Silent Weekends” for those affected at regular intervals. These weekends are a safe space for participants to share their experiences freely and authentically. They are accompanied by specialists with legal, psychological, medical, and pastoral expertise. It is a time for sharing and recharging, for encountering God, for seeking and experiencing help. This was my first time as a speaker. Rarely has a weekend stirred me up and shaken me so much, affected me so much and also made me angry. What these women experienced, how they were treated as children, adolescents or adults, is dishonorable! The consequences and effects will stay with them for the rest of their lives. It is therefore all the more important to use such weekends to create an atmosphere in which those affected feel that they are taken seriously and accepted, and in which a little bit of healing can take place. Enditnow!” Dagmar Dorn, Inter-European Division (EUD), Women's Ministries Department Director
Voices of Participants
Painting, doing handicrafts and being creative made for a relaxed atmosphere. “The weekend with other affected people gives me courage. What we have experienced and its consequences are always present in our lives. That's why we call it a life sentence. For me, it is important to encourage others who are still in the middle of it and to support them. Outside, we experience a lack of understanding and rejection, this weekend is the opposite with a lot of appreciation. Thank you!” (A.)
“Once again, I was able to take part in a meeting for women affected by sexual violence. It was very emotional, but also very uplifting. Once more I was able to experience that wounds can heal and what it means to recharge your batteries with like-minded women. Some people asked me beforehand why I was 'doing this to myself' and why I kept reopening old wounds. To be honest, I've never felt that way - quite the opposite. Over the last five years and through two weekends, I have been able to learn how to deal with these wounds and have experienced that festering wounds are better opened in order to heal. During this weekend, I really felt my wounds healing and how I can continue the care of my scars. Because the scars will always be there. They are part of my life. Not as present and painful as before, but they are there and sometimes visible. It was so nice and relaxing to sit at the table with the other women making bracelets, designing our notebook, or going for a walk. Feeling the heat of the sauna, enjoying the delicious food and just being ME. A big thank you to the advisory board for making this possible.” (J)
“It was my first time at the Silent Weekend. Yes, it was also exhausting. The topic takes strength, but it's my/our topic. Keeping quiet, making light of it or talking it down, looking away from it or just going on as usual is not an option. Because it is a part of me. It is my past, my biography, which I can no longer change and which has made me the woman I am today. Life keeps pressing the play button. It's a daily battle, almost for survival. But above all, the weekend was one thing: EXCITING!!! Loving people, mutual appreciation, understanding, and a caring team in every respect. No participant was really alone. Not alone with their tears, pain, daily challenges, and questions, but we also sang and laughed together. In the leisure time, which was also very important, many did handicrafts, some went for a walk or retreated to their room for a while. I would like to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart, the others affected, and all those who made this weekend possible. It was a richly blessed weekend. What I also took away with me, and what I very much hope for, is that there will be more education, that people within and outside the church will be sensitized to this topic - and that we people will generally treat each other with more understanding and appreciation. Once again, my heartfelt thanks to all the participants, the team and to our Lord Jesus Christ, who held his hands of blessing and protection over us.” (M.)
According to a report in Adventisten heute, November 2024